The last few days have been very unsettled for me.
I won’t bore you with the details, but one tiny disruption…
One ‘disturbance’…
One tiny pebble…
Just one… and it really caused a ripple effect.
I feel much better now – although it’s not quite sorted – there are ways forward and options, so I’m much more positive.
But let me take you back to last Friday when it all began…
An encounter with a person I had never met before…
I won’t call it a confrontation, but it was confrontational.
It was made clear to me that I was the one that would have to compromise…
Not a drama, I can do that…
But the impact meant others around me would also have to compromise without any choice, consultation or discussion.
That I wasn’t so comfortable with…
So I reached out to someone else I thought might be able to help, but they weren’t available at that time.
I woke up about 3am Saturday morning, and it became very apparent it was troubling me.
Initially I tried to go back to sleep, but my mind clearly wanted to do otherwise.
Rarely for me, I got up.
I thought through the situation and had a couple of ideas…
Did some research, made a couple of notes and said to myself, well that’s all you can do for now.
I went back to bed and after a brief moment or two of following my breath, fell fast asleep.
Over the weekend I examined some of the ideas I’d come up with… still not perfect, but options nonetheless.
We had other stuff to do on Sunday – preparing for a meeting on Tuesday morning, which was also taxing.
And despite taking some quiet time to breathe and practise mindfulness, I could still feel this sense of disruption.
Monday was an early start.
I’m in the middle of a number of preventative and routine health checks, for which I’m so grateful…
But with the other disruptions, it’s amazing how far those ripples can spread.
I followed my breath as a scanner hummed over my body…
Breathe…
By Monday afternoon I was starting to feel really, really tired.
Sitting outside on the patio, I did a lovely, calming meditation.
As I started to open my eyes, I became aware of one of our floating pool solar lights (Dolly the dolphin) looking at me.
The full-on smile made me laugh, and it was just what I needed.
Monday evening I heard from the person I’d reached out to – and as I hoped, they had a few options too.
Tuesday’s meeting done and dusted… a phone conversation before lunch, and it was all systems go!
But just as it felt we were coming out on top…
A few more disruptions were thrown into the mix…
Both my husband and I spent much of the afternoon on our phones trying to get through to different services to sort out other problems…
We finally resolved them…
But that was it… I was completely tuckered, and had to have a late afternoon nap.
Fortunately, I had the best sleep last night…
And despite my husband getting up at 5.30am this morning for yet another appointment…
I feel much calmer and in a stronger place today.
My husband – for as long as I have know him – has always had this saying:
There’s always a way…
And even though it doesn’t always feel like that at the time, he’s usually right.
The key for me is to take some breaks…
To breathe…
Practise mindfulness…
And meditate…
As I said, the major disruption is not quite resolved, certainly a few challenges ahead, but I feel the ripples have calmed slightly…
There’s always a way…
Ann 🙏