I wrote about happiness earlier this year…
And felt myself drawn back to it again after recently watching the 2006 film The Pursuit of Happyness.
It’s basically about a man, down on his luck, trying to make a better life for him and his son.
Sounds great, right?
But his pursuit of happinesss comes down to seeing people coming out of the stock exchange looking happy, so he decides he wants to work there.
He then spends months in a gruelling internship trying to achieve this.
Don’t get me wrong, to provide food and shelter for you and your child, you need money.
It’s not about being rich, it’s about being able to afford the essential things in life.
I just found it sad that for him, he saw the world of money, wheeling and dealing, as his only way of providing this…
And his only route to happiness.
After thinking about it for a while, I realised it reminded me of The Secret which was also released in 2006.
I remember everyone talking about this at the time…
Initially it was a film – described as a documentary-style self-help film, quickly followed by a book of the same name.
I really hadn’t thought much about it, but on a retreat, the host encouraged me to watch the film.
It’s based on the law of attraction, which claims that thought alone can influence circumstances within one’s life…
You can have, do, or be anything you want.
It’s ‘principles for manifestation’ – visualization, gratitude, intention, and mastering your thoughts and feelings – sound pretty good.
But then there’s this: …to be happy, just think happy thoughts.
Hmmm sounds a bit too simplistic.
If that’s all we needed to do – we’d all be so happy – all the time…
Wouldn’t we?
The next day the host excitedly asked me what I thought about it.
I had to be honest, I found it quite sad, almost disturbing.
Most of it was based around wealth enhancement…
If you want a Ferrari… put a picture of one on your fridge door…
Get to know people with Ferraris…
You will get a Ferrari.
If you want to be rich…
Ditch your poor friends…
Move into rich people’s circles…
Socialise with these people…
You will become rich.
I paraphrase…
But personally, I found it incredibly shallow.
While I’m sure most of us could use a bit more money…
(And I have to admit I don’t mind buying the odd lottery ticket…)
But for that to be your life goal… in pursuit of what you perceive as happiness…
I’m not sure that’s a healthy or wise approach.
There’s been a lot of criticism about The Secret as hocus pocus, pseudoscience, superstitious drivel…
Whilst also acknowledging there’s nothing wrong with positive thinking…
In 2007 author and journalist Valerie Frankel wrote about her experience of trying the principles of The Secret for four weeks:
Counting my blessings has been uplifting, reminding me of what’s already great about my life. Visualization has forced me to pay attention to what I really desire. And laughing is never a bad idea…
There’s actually some helpful advice in the book. But it’s nothing you don’t already know.
What I didn’t know until today (or I’d willfully forgotten!) is the The Secret was written by an Australian (Rhonda Byrne) and the film produced in Melbourne.
Ironically, the man whose memoir The Pursuit of Happyness is based on, went on to be a highly successful stockbroker and later motivational speaker…
So maybe I should just shut up!
But while I’m all for positive thinking, following your passions and gratitude…
I think it’s fair to say there’s not a one size fits all way to pursue happiness.
You have to find your own route…
But embracing kindness and compassion…
Appreciating what we have…the little things or moments that make us smile…
And sharing these with those we love…
That can help us all build a more meaningful and happy life overall.
Ann 🙏